Bite My Tongue

excuse me while i get my act together.

(	i fell apart a moment ago
	at the mere sight of your name		)

why do i need a reason?
well i say no more whys
and no more reasons—
if we lived on Tralfamadore…

	(we could be the spectacle in the zoo)

then everything would simply be.

and i could relive any moment in time,
that would always happen exactly as they did,
and i wouldn’t regret any of it.

i will always hold back from reaching you
but maybe there will be one time
when i will always talk to you.

(	are you looking for the whys?
	are you looking for the reasons?	)

i have a feeling you believe in free will as much as i do.

…so excuse me while i stop living in fiction.

because whether or not there’s predestination
i will keep biting my tongue.




Somewhere the same night sky
hovers over you, over me, too.

I know it’s littered with glitter,
glittering gases of fiery light.

Stars. Can you see them?

‘Cause here the farms are all gone,
and I can’t see through the pollution.

But we can see the moon, a satellite,
revolve around the planet we share.

This earth is not so large,
and are we not so far?

My chest can feel the difference;
my heart can tell the distance.

Skipped, tripped, and flipped
all at once.

Who’s to say in what capacity
destiny calls for?

Maybe nothing’s predetermined
and I’ve determined nothing—

but there’s space here for you.




Maybe it’s not my choice.
But we’ll act quickly or slowly
and reach for the sky—
and I can hope
that our hands will clasp
over the same star.




wasted opportunity:

I’ve got three months
to agonize
over words
I did not say.

were they words
I should have




I think my insides
are going to
scream themselves apart!

stupid memories are melting
me down into a puddle of

they’re not stupid.
they’re just trivial—
to anyone but me,
I imagine.

and I imagine
many ways
they could have
gone better.

has not a place
in my life

but God! I did not expect
you to be so fucking


(I bet you don’t want to be adorable at all,
but I wasn’t planning to feel this way.)


maybe I should have just said it.
maybe I should have just said it.
so many things I should have just said.

“maybe Science is telling you she needs some space.”

I’m trying to tell you
that I really like you.

(I’m just too scared to tell you.)


I’m not cryptic.
I’m not even deep.

I’m just a fool
with only enough courage
to produce this message
only slightly less indirect
than the exclamations in my head

because I’m too scared
to pick up the phone
and say,

“I really like you,”

and dammit,
I should’ve said it in person.