Not Good Enough

tell me that i’m doing well,
that i’ve come so fucking far.
how can you say
i’m not doing
enough?

‘cause i’ve done so much
that i can’t even look at myself.

and i’ve done so much
but am still unconvinced
that it’s better for me.

you don’t know
that i haven’t gone
too fucking far.

nothing isn’t right,
but maybe anything
is wrong, too.

the middle ground
involves discipline,
but you warned me
that any deprivation
is a restriction:

basically a step toward a cliff.
a free fall, with even less
resistance than before.
and how far? (-½gt2.)
how fast? (2gΔy.)

i know the physics applies
in a different way here,
but i’m skeptical that
your energy calculations
are flawed.

it’s all wrong.
it’s all wrong,
but mostly,
i just can’t
do anything
right.
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