thirty-two weeks

since that honest evening

you’ve heard me slowly silence,
watched my brilliance burn out,
and witnessed my lonely defeat.

in fear,
i compromised our vibrant dynamic.
in fear,
i compromised my physical being.
in fear,
i compromised everything i had.

well, fuck that fear, my dear!
i said, fuck it!
do you hear me?

now

thirty-two years, but

i don’t want to count anymore.

i’ll stop
to restore that vibe we had going,
to restore my body’s strength,
to restore everything i had.

i have a choice, and i choose
the possibility of you
to help me fight
this crazy fear,
and win.

i want you to see my colors shine,
to hear the chime in my voice again,
to witness my hard-won phoenix rising.