i believe they call them
“intrusive thoughts”.
they’re quite repetitive,
really,
and i suppose
they do indeed intrude,
because i never invited them
in the first place.
they don’t mean well,
and i don’t mean them.
but they butt their way
into the conversation,
as if the more times i think it,
i’ll believe it.
well, i don’t.
i’ve fought very hard not to,
thank you.
i find myself
needing to ground myself
too often these days.
i have to say,
“oh no, i actually don’t,”
when the intruder says,
“iwannaiwannaiwanna.”
maybe i ought be less polite,
because fuck you, interloper,
i quite like living, thank you.
i quite like living
without you.