you got me thinking that day,
and thus far, it's all been for the race.
still using the long run as a crutch
(and i'm scared i'll need them soon),
pushing and crying and cutting through
all kinds of pain, just to keep eating,
just to stay on my feet.

some impulsive effort to get you
to understand the road i'm on
probably was of no use,
and every day i contemplate,
in preparation for my return,
how i will explain to you
what this is and has been like.

not even because i need you,
but because i think i owe you,
and i'm hoping that one more story
will help you see from my perspective,
so perhaps you will know with certainty
that i wasn't searching for a hero in you;

i just needed someone to know
that i was losing my mind,
my body, and my soul—
and i couldn't stop.

now, my legs are unsteady,
but i'm still fighting to climb
back up and better than i was.

and i want you to know
that where i am is strong enough
to do whatever it takes to repay you.