Discipline

Written January 4, 2010

She fears the day,
the hour,
the second to come.

Will they see her?

Her reflection goes right through her.
She’s invisible.

Her eyes can’t see
that she’s beautiful.
Even now,
though she’s become
transparent.

Will they find her out?
And say,
“She didn’t need to take this route”?

She doesn’t want them to know
that she’s lost control
over the
one
thing
she thought she could.

Her heart will stop beating,
as she stares not at herself,
and sees only
failure
in her mind’s eye.

Her source of pride will give her away.

They’re all going to see.
They’re all going to see.

She couldn’t
discipline her body
enough to survive.

She just wanted to feel
[proud, strong, special]
for doing something
that most people
could not.