Gray Areas

Written November 6, 2010

i often manage to stumble into gray areas:
amorphous, unbound spaces scarcely differentiable
from any defined region beyond it.
how do i follow a path not quite smooth and continuous,
or slide down a gradient i can’t quite find?
i never seem to know which way to go.

there’s no lack of color in here,
but for some reason i blend them together
in all the wrong ways,
losing direction in the watery chaos.
i’m blinded: chasing pictures no one else sees.

can’t get through life formulaically; can’t paint my way either.
one gray area i can’t seem to fall into.

but my mind will keep whirring
and my imagination will keep stirring
up the scenes i want played out—

and maybe everything will click to something one day.
i’ll know who i am or where i’m going or what we are—

and even if i don’t, i’ll keep pushing through.
everything may be undefined but certainly not necessarily
meaningless.