Leap of Faith

Written March 16, 2010

hold still for a moment.
time won’t,
so can we use it—
(maybe not as wisely as you’d like)
—use it to sort things out?

i feel like a mess, mate.
i don’t know why,
but i can’t get out
of this funk.

do i know anything anymore?
has everyone found out
that i’m a fraud?

exposure.

i’ve been
the biggest fool
of them all,
to think that i
could fool myself.

what did i have to gain
from being anything i’m not?

maybe i’m kidding myself again,
but if i earn it—
fuck, who thinks i’m cut out for this?
—if i earn it,
i’m validated.

so hold steady,
and let me regain my footing.

i’m not lying anymore.
i don’t know what’s right,
but i’m taking this leap
for me.