Written January 6, 2010

I’ve faced my own struggles.
But maybe I don’t think they merit as much
because you couldn’t see it.
I wouldn’t let you see it.

Now I want to.
I’m ready to.
Is it because I’m detached?
Or because I don’t want to
make the same mistakes?

Someone needs to know.

I’d say I’m sorry I chose you,
but I’m not. Not yet.
You weren’t there the first time—
a four-year first time.
Or was it fi—hell, who’s counting?

It doesn’t matter.
But I have to warn you,
because I’m not always easy to live with.
And if it gets too easy,
tell me I look tired, and
I’ll fall into your trust again.

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