Descent

Written May 16, 2011

deficit:
something I can’t afford,
but I’m gonna come up short today.
I’m gonna come up short anyway.

it’s not my fault.

I physically can’t stomach
enough to meet my quota—
the one 300 lower than where
I should have been this week.

there’s no way I can make it tonight.

I’m sorry,
but this is the start of my descent.

I’m sorry,
that your words of confidence
are meaningless right now.

I’m sorry, my dear,
‘cause I’m breaking a promise to you
the very same day I made it.

and I bet you’d both say
that I should apologize to myself
for giving up.

guess the fact that I was never
getting better for myself
is showing up now.