Emptiness of Body and Mind
Written June 1, 2011
I just want to be as empty as the vacant vessel you seem to think I am. Why must I let myself be filled with your desires? These awards, degrees, and kilojoules mean nothing for me anymore; they’ve always been about you. You and your self-absorbed hunger for fulfillment through the deeds of some girl bearing your name have forbidden any indicator of humanity from me. My body is the same species as you, but I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be in the worst way. Somehow, you disapprove of my inhumanity, too: the one thing that makes me feel strong and better than everyone else… because I can abstain from the daily bread you want, that you can’t give up. Let me. Let me be as empty as my heart feels toward you.