Not Good Enough
Written July 14, 2011
tell me that i’m doing well, that i’ve come so fucking far. how can you say i’m not doing enough? ‘cause i’ve done so much that i can’t even look at myself. and i’ve done so much but am still unconvinced that it’s better for me. you don’t know that i haven’t gone too fucking far. nothing isn’t right, but maybe anything is wrong, too. the middle ground involves discipline, but you warned me that any deprivation is a restriction: basically a step toward a cliff. a free fall, with even less resistance than before. and how far? (-½gt2.) how fast? (2gΔy.) i know the physics applies in a different way here, but i’m skeptical that your energy calculations are flawed. it’s all wrong. it’s all wrong, but mostly, i just can’t do anything right.