That Is All

Written April 25, 2011

does the coffee make me manic
does the coffee make me manic

no.
no, not really, but
my body has finally
realized
that artificial
energy
is so much better
than the real stuff.

i shouldn’t have it.

i shouldn’t stimulate
my paranoid brain.

‘cause guess whose thoughts are racing
guess whose thoughts are racing—

the caffeine is the only thing left in my system,
so i’m fucking clinging to the chemical,
and all i can think is,
all i can think is this:

The younger man with whom you cohabitate
is also one with whom you have divulged my
       
    Weakness.

and now you mock mock mock
all the words i have ever said to you.

i don’t make excuses so it must not be
my poor energy intake that’s robbed me
of control of my own brain for months.

nope.
nope.

but thanks for letting me go to hell
all the while you know exactly how
i’m getting there.