a feeling you can’t even (005)

Written June 19, 2013

it’s a feeling you can’t even unless you’ve feared yourself:
nostalgia for a fragile time when you were not your friend.

bittersweet memories of a silent struggle
and your porcelain state of mind,
you miss the urgency
of everything.

the intensity and instability of every hour,
the impulsive, reckless fixes,
the insurmountable,
endless exhaustion.

you don’t miss the demon.

you miss the turmoil
that built you

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