You Don’t Know
Written February 27, 2007
Sometimes I need to be reminded what good I am to the world.
You don’t know how much this hurts me.
It seems like everyone is cool and collected
while I keep slipping into this abysmal insecurity.
Every year this vacuum pulls me in and slowly sucks my life.
You don’t know how much this scares me.
The Christmas joy does not affect me
and I know the draining is soon to come.
I know to combat this I have to confess and address this.
You don’t know how much I want to.
Fear transforms and petrifies me,
causing me to further and further delay.
My eyes can’t see that you would support me.
You don’t know how much I need you.
Let me know that you’re available
before I spiral too far with this insanity.
There is every possibility that I will some day lose control.
You don’t know how much that scares me.
Please remind me that I am worth something
so I can overcome and breathe confidently once again.